I'm constantly thinking about running away. Where do I wanna run away to? What exactly am I running away from? Im supposed to know. Im supposed to know everything. I'm everybody's go-to person but my own. I have no answers/suggestions/solutions to give myself. As far back as I can remember, I have constantly thought of running away. When I was in India I wanted to run away and go to Kuwait. Then when I was back in Kuwait I wanted to run away and come to Canada. Now I'm here and I again just want to run away. This time all I know is where I dont want to go. That would be Kuwait since there isnt much to go back for. Ofcourse there is the family, but they really wont like who I've become. Im not good at pretending and they're not good at understanding.

What do I think is going to change if I leave here? Will my mind be fixed? Will I be happier? Will everything that bothers me just cease to exist? What a cowardly thing to think. How absolutely cowardly. My foundation is canyoning and im letting it progress unhindered. While constantly worrying about letting others down I didnt realise I let myself down a long time ago.

Edit: My folks are actually better at understanding than I give them credit for, but certain things are beyond discussion. I have the nasty habit of bringing those things up.


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